Conspiracy Theories Abound!

Contributors: Jacob Tynan

 

EXPERIMENT:

  • To make light of the symbols on the Oreo cookie biscuit.

MATERIALS:

  • An open mind
  • The internet
  • Lots of time

PROCEDURE:

  1. Observe the impressions and markings on the Oreo biscuit
  2. Scour the internet (and all its wisdom) in an attempt to make some meaning from the symbols.

DATA:

  • On the Oreo facade is the Cross of Lorraine which was given to the Knights Templar by the Patriarch of Jerusalem. They ruled the world in secret until they were all executed by the Pope (who also has crosses!). They were then replaced by the Freemasons, who were shunned by the Pope because of their connections to the former Knights Templars. The Cross of Lorraine was also an important sign for the Freemasons. During World War II, the Cross of Lorraine was a symbol for the Freemasonic French Resistance, who resisted the pagan Nazis who threatened their dreams of a New World Order.
  • Vive la Lies! (see picture 2)
  • After WWII, the United Nations was formed, and the Freemasons soon lost their importance in the narrative of the New World Order to the newly formed Illuminati, who have controlled the world economy and government since. They have caused every bank crisis, oil crisis, the European Union, and George W. Bush.
  • How did they gain control? In 1912 the Oreo was developed by the National Biscuit Company (or the Naughty Bogus Cover)and designed by an unknown cookie designer, who was most likely a follower of the teachings of Leonardo Da Vinci, a member of the pagan group the Priory of Scion. This was two years before WWI.
  • Evidence of Da Vinci's pagonism (see picture 3)
  • The first design of Oreos was obviously pagan.
  • Pagan Wreath! (see picture 4)
  • In 1924, the Priory of Scion redesigned the Oreo to make the subconscious message much more extremely pagan. This was five years before the Great Depression and nine years before Hitler rose to power in Germany.
  • Larger Pagan Wreath! (see picture 5)
  • During WWII, the Priory of Scion attempted to gain world dominance through the pagan Nazi regime. The Freemasons, then known as the French Resistance, used the Cross of Lorraine as its banner.
  • Obvious Conspiracy! (see picture 6)
  • After WWII, the Nazi Regime lay defeated, and with it the Priory of Scion. The Freemasons needed to keep their existence secret, so they changed their name to the Illuminati. The members of this group created the United Nations, and have been controlling it ever since. During the Korean War stalemate in 1952, the Illuminati realized that they needed to use the methods initially used by the Priory of Scion in order to gain sovereignty over the world, as the more military methods would not suffice. And so in 1952 the Oreo was redesigned once more and for the last time, bearing on it the symbol of oppression and evil. The United Nation's power has expanded, and so has the Oreo's. This cookie is being consumed in more than twenty country's and counting, and millions are subconsciously consuming the propaganda of the Illuminati.
  • How can one resist this sinister tactic and help the people take back the power? Eat Hydrox, the cookie which still bears the symbol of paganism and freedom! (see picture 5 and 6)
  • Freedom!

RESULTS:

  • Things are what you make of them.

POSSIBLE APPLICATIONS:

  • Things are what you make of them, but this researcher thinks that Oreos are evil.
  • Even if Oreos might be evil they still taste good!
  • Kill the Oreo, Kill the Oreo, Kill the Oreooooooo!
  • Save the Hydrox, Save the World

EXTERNAL LINKS:

 DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed herein are in no way affiliated with the Albion Central School District or Nabisco in any way.